In my profession i used to travel a lot for my corporate clients. One summer day of 2014 i was travelling from Ahmedabad to Bangalore and while boarding a flight i met one of my college friend who was also traveling to same place, because we met after a long period we have done chit chat about the current life as well discuss some old memories of college days.
After collecting my check-in luggage from the baggage belt when we came out from airport my friend suggested me to take a bus from airport and by showing some advantages of the bus he told me that taking airport taxi (cab) is costly. After hearing his arguments i told him to spend half an hour with me at airport cafe and then we will take bus. He agreed and during the cafe discussion i told him that after working for so many years in industry my life is up and i really don’t spend my energy on these micro decisions for me that’s the ultimate hell, if i walk in to someplace and worry about spending much on food or shopping for my loved once then it means that somewhere in past i have taken some bad financial decisions in my life. I told him if you waste your energy on these kinds of things then you will never grow towards success in your life.
I think this applies to lots of things in life student worry about the exam results but the actual work is done a long ago when they have done or not their day to day homework -you are worried about product launch but the real work is done in past when you studied user demand and researched on that -you are worried about your 10 years old son and his behavior with others but the real problem was started when he was 3 years old and you gave him whatever he wants.
If you are also facing similar kind of problems you can change this by my ‘three circle theory‘ which i shared with my friend that day at airport cafe.
The above three circles are going to create your IDENTITY. Either you are going to be a champion or looser with victim syndrome it all depends on above three circles.
1 Circle of No Concern
Most people in life really concern about the things which are happening in their surroundings but it’s not in their control and they are never able to do anything about that. I heard people talk, complain, and discuss like…
- Why there is a huge traffic in our city
- Why government is not doing like this or that
- Divorce rates are really going high in united states
- Why the rain in Mumbai is so unpredictable
People do this and spend their time and energy discussing this kind of things about which they are really not able to do anything. Still without realizing they concentrate on these things which are actually in the circle of no concern for them. I do not want these things in my mind all the time because when you discuss about these kinds of things your mind actually study these situations and at the end of that we know there is no definite solution for this so mind actually start accepting excuses for the real issues also.
Now onwards whenever you realize that the other person is trying to talk about these kinds of things which are in circle of no concern then believe me use these powerful worlds in humble way. – i know what you are talking about but I REALLY DONT CARE.!
2 Circle of beliefs
By profession i am from a tech background but human psychology is the subject which i always admire to learn and from my experiences I learned couple of things from that.
Every person who wants to be successful has a different state of success and mostly they define success by comparing with their role model or they want to be like that person. I still remember when i was kid most of my family members asked me one question-“Beta bade ho ke kya banoge ?” And my answer was ” Main bada hoke Papa banuga !” And everyone always laugh on my funny answer but what i am trying to prove is we all have someone in mind who we see as a role model for our future like for me at that time my father was the strongest person of my life and i believe that he can fix any issue of world.
To understand this chapter i want you to do this exercise with me and then we will discuss on that.
In below line we have five points starting from A to E
A———– B ———- C ——– D ——— E
I want you to write down your name below A and name of your role model (the person you would like to be) at E
Now when you compare yourself with the person E surely there are number of differences but i want you to focus on that difference which you want to improve in yourself. May be that’s physical, financial, spiritual or may be mental difference but i want you to compare only that one first which you want to change.
When you focus on one aspect at that time think that if you are exactly like that person how you will feel, what will be that state for you, how you will think, how you will behave, how you will take decision, what you will need to do to achieve that.
Here i have my circle of believe which comes in to the picture.
I really believe that emotions are really powerful when you will get the desire from inside to be like anyone your mind will focus only on the things related to that. Your beliefs will get changed and your mind will try to convince you that achieving that thing is surely possible for you. Our emotions are the sources of the beliefs and you will become whatever you believe. If you always think i cannot swim, cook, dance, sing or any task like losing weight or climbing a mountain, then sooner or later you will quit that and never achieve success in that. But if you believe that you really have a string emotions to achieve that then simply do one thing in the above exercise – assume you are playing a game of life and remember you are person A and you want to be person E but in between we have three stages to clear B, C and D which i want you to take as a milestone so define step wise change in yourself to reach your goal as person E.
Now note down time to achieve each milestone and tell yourself like a successful person that no matter what happens i will reach to B in this time. If you see any sports each sports person wins only if he believes that he can do that. What separate a gold medalist from and Olympic hopeful is their internal belief.
This is my proven technique which i have tried in my life as well as with number of people and if the person follows with real strong emotions then this always works. All you need is you should genuinely want to be like that and you should believe in yourself and power of your emotions and focus. Always remember “person do things only what they believe”
Try this from today and if you feel that your emotions are not enough strong then i have third theory for you which is next.
3 Circle of influence
Influence is a powerful word and most people take this word as a negative word because as per human psychology we get influenced by negative things very quickly. This applies on you also because in our day to day life there are thousands of things by which we get influenced. Every smoker smoke because of influence may be he got that influence by his friends, television, movies or by any other related person. Even though we are wise to decide what’s good and bad for us we still get influenced by it. Most addictions like junk food, smoking, drinking, wasting money, chatting or even taking selfies all are because you got influenced.
The point which i want to prove is influence is a natural thing and in this book i want you to learn how can you use good influence for yourself. Yes i want you to influence yourself by things which are going to keep you addicted to your goal.
I still remember a Bollywood movie called GURU which is based on life of ‘Dhirubhai Ambani’, when I saw this movie first time i was overwhelmed with the feeling which i got. I felt a really powerful energy in me that every problem is fixable and we just need to find a way for that. I was really influenced by that. And i call this is an example of good influence where it takes you to the positive path not negative. You can get positive influences from anywhere newspapers, television, friends, WhatsApp, Facebook, movies but i believe above all is books. Research says that 83 percentages of successful people read on daily basis to gain knowledge but as per me people who are knowledgeable to get that kick of influence in them which keep them in right direction.
Now onward try to develop filter in you which can only allow good influence to come to you and your loved once. This is going to be a strong step towards goals you want to achieve.